Recently I was invited to lead an opening meditation at a regional 12 Step retreat. It’s gotten me thinking about Buddhism and the 12 Step program although I’m not necessarily comparing all of their compatibilities and similarities. There are some good books available on that topic already. What I’ve been reflecting on is how the 12 Step programs are another avenue to paying attention and shedding light on those parts of ourselves we’d rather not see. What’s required here is courageous honesty. Which is of course what we cultivate in meditation if we’re practicing seriously.
I starting attending 12 Step meetings several years ago and went regularly for about three years. I wasn’t addressing substance abuse problems though some would argue that my chocolate addiction could bear that kind of scrutiny. But since dark chocolate has now been classified as a health food. I’m not fighting that one any more. ;-). Instead. I began attending the 12 Step program to address interpersonal issues that arose in part from growing up in a family of alcoholics. At a deeper level. I believe many of the challenges I’ve faced are actually part of the human condition; they are things most of us struggle with whether we have substance abuse in our families or not. At the root is the very clinging and aversion of the mind that Buddha struggled with in his quest for enlightenment.
What I have discovered from many years of practice is that meditation alone rarely succeeds in fully opening the gates of the mind and heart even though it is a powerful way to illuminate much of what’s been hidden to us. Buddhist meditation (on and off the cushion) is my foundational path and it has made a huge difference in my life. Along the way however. I’ve utilized several adjunct paths to augment and deepen my practice. Any path that encourages us to face and tell the truth about our lives will only serve to enhance our dharma practice.
The 12 Step meeting I chose to attend was in Franklin and I had to drive there during rush hour traffic. That alone was a good practice in patience for me. When I arrived often I would ask myself what I was doing there why I was giving up another evening during the week when I could be home doing what? Maybe reading or watching an old episode of the X-Files or one of my favorite chefs on the Food Network? Most times when I took a seat at the meeting a moment of awakening would occur my mind would become clear and I would see something that had been hidden. Often from these insights I would discover ways to begin undoing old patterns that had kept me locked in suffering. Sounds much like dharma practice doesn’t it?
The word “dharma” actually has dual meanings. In the Buddhist tradition it has come to signify the Buddha’s teachings while also pointing to “the truth of this moment.” For me attending 12 Step meetings created a new avenue to work with difficult emotions and old patterns within the context of my dharma path; the meetings were another way of experiencing the truth of this moment.
First we should realize that 12-step programs all come from AA which was developed in a very religious context for a very particular purpose. It is based on a set of principles developed by Bill Wilson and “Dr. Bob” which used their own deeply Christian religious faith to enable them to hold at bay and manage the horrors of their addiction. I admire them and respect that they came up with something that enabled them to live decent lives in the face of their personal tragedies. However. AA today is misrepresented as a secular organization which it is not and is unConstitutionally promulgated by the government in violation of the establishment of religion clause of the First Amendment. And although I do empathize with and admire those who have made use of its principles to maintain their own sobriety it is not a solution to all problems of addiction or of attachment.
I had a DUI in my wilder days and had to go to AA meetings. I think the major benefit of going to these things is that they are full of helpful tips if you are trying to stay sober. These are people that have developed tricks and devices to keep themselves from drinking or doing whatever their drug of choice may be (note here: many AA members or parallel organizations like NA will tell you that the 12 steps apply across the board to all addictive substances but it should be noted that the rate of “success” in NA is much lower that AA which rate is honestly pretty pathetic anyway). However in contrast to Lisa’s experience. I have never had a more excruiating experience than repeated AA meetings.
First realize that these meetings are usually labelled “discussion meetings” but in fact no discussion is allowed. Anyone offering a comment that is not in lockstep with AA dogma is greeted with “Keep coming back” which is code for “You stupid drunk you don’t get it and you’ll die soon.” So what you get is the same people parrotting the same comments at every meeting. I often thought that if the AA limited list of options for its members (”Sober up locked up or toes up”) were true. I’d rather die drunk on the street than have to sit through those meetings every night.
The reason for the dogmatic nature of AA is that is essentially a Christian organization in the closet. I understand that Bill Wilson wanted to make it explicitly Christian but was dissuaded so they could include agnostics (there was no variety of religions in America in the 1930’s). Today it masquerades as some sort of communal health organization. One of my best friends has been sober for over 20 years and still attends AA meetings occasionally. His take on it is that a lot of people use AA as an excuse to get sober.
I have two major philosophical problems with AA. First the higher power concept. You can pray all you want; the only problem with magic is that it doesn’t work. You have to take responsibility for your own life. If you’re not willing to do that and you need a big guy with a beard to sort it out for you you just may be a Christian.
Second there’s this whole thing with the disease concept. Someone has decided that alcoholism and addiction are diseases and can be treated as such. All I see here is a big analogy which has been used to get medical insurance to cover rehab — which also doesn’t work most of the time.
Having said all that of course any useful tools one can find for working on oneself are good to that extent. And it’s always good to examine your situation from an alternative paradigm to get a fresh perspective. But I would caution anyone against adopting the principles of this Christian cult unless you’re suffering from a serious addiction and see no other way out.
My son just called me from court where he faced his third drinking-related charges today. With the first and second charges he “endured” court-ordered classes which obviously didn’t help. This time he seems to be experiencing some sort of metamorphosis though I can’t say whether AAese is starting to ring for him or the $3000 he lost to court/lawyer fees has shaken his foundations. That’s a lot of dough for a 24 year old. In either case. “IT will only work if HE works it.”
BTW. AA is “not allied with any sect denomination political entity organization or institution; does not engage in any controversy neither endorses nor opposes any cause,” which is why (I’m assuming) someone asked Lisa to open with meditation at their regional!
Lately. I’m noticing that by simply holding out hope or a wish with a yearning that is so continuous to wake me and stay with me throughout the day. I’m astonished to learn that my “wish” has been fulfilled without ever having knelt and began with “Our Father.” Is that not prayer? And is that not somehow similar to a loving-kindness meditation for instance?
Maybe you have been around a great deal of Christians who sought to find differences with you rather than common ground and thus you are very angry with them but please understand that all of us aren’t here to persecute you as a Buddhist. There are still many good people in the world. And Bob magic happens all the time. Just go through life being and it will find you.
The more I read about Judaism/Buddhism/Taoism the more magic I’m experiencing from Christianity. It really is amazing how all religions/philosophies intermingle and I think it’s because I’m realizing the power of “letting go” which is also a big AA thing. I think it’s nice to branch out and hear the same thing in as many different ways as possible.
I agree with your observation that “meditation alone rarely succeeds in fully opening the gates of the mind and heart.” As someone who has sung countless hymns in Christian churches sung the Kiddush in a Reform temple meditated in a variety of settings and attended 14 gazillion 12-Step meetings since 1986 it all seems like part of one mysterious tapestry to me.
The One Dharma reading from a few weeks ago is a good example: the description of “The Void” from Hundred Thousand Songs of Milarepa is almost identical to the Apostle Paul’s description of God: “in God we live and move and have our being.”
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Related article:
http://onedharmanashville.wordpress.com/2007/11/03/taking-the-seat-of-truth/
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